Happy Freakin New Year!

Well, here we are 2008, Next month is our official 3 year mark of trying to have a child. I am not sure how I feel about it. Bitter and angry of course, but as the years go on, I feel more numb than anything. I have a very dear friend who is suffering from Recurrent Miscarriages and now recently AF has gone missing. She is such a wonderful person and is going to be a great mom, I just don't understand why this seems to happen to the good people.

I am sure there are not so good people out there that are infertile, but maybe it is just cause they don't care that they are infertile. They don't want to have kids, so in a way for them it is a blessing.

AF still hasn't shown and I haven't called my dr. I am not sure why, on one hand I want a baby SO bad, but on the other side, I am SO tired of going to doctors, trying new meds, new diets, new shots, new tests, more dr. appt, second opinions, more research, and on and on and on. It just gets so overwhelming. But, I am going to make the call. Today. I will call today and find out what the hell we are supposed to do now.

I requested a financial statement from our RE. I am not sure how I am going to be able to handle seeing all on one page HOW MUCH MONEY we spent on IUI's this year. I am terrified to look at it, but I know I need to see if we can write it off on our taxes this year. Maybe I will just keep it sealed until I have to give it to my tax man and let him open it up.

The last couple of months have been a little easier for me cause we have been so busy with the house. We are having a housewarming party at the end of the month and I can't wait to show all of our friends our new home. I am rambling...I know. I think that is just how I am getting through life right now, just keeping myself busy and just ramble from one thing to the next so that I don't think of how old our child should be had we been able to get pg right away.