As I drove to work this morning...I saw school buses. Which means that summer is ending. It makes me a little happy because that means that the weather will cool down again (well, at least it will cool down in a couple of months) but it makes me a little sad too because it is another season change with no pregnancy...no baby.
I am trying to remain faithful and it has been very helpful for me recently because I found some fellow Infertile Christian bloggers. They have been a HUGE blessing for me and a major inspiration.
On Friday evening we had our "House of the Refining Fire" gathering. It was AWESOME!!! The Pastor from Africa was incredible. She was so passionate, so alive with the Lord and just saturated in the Holy Spirit! She prayed over me for my infertility and she said that God told her that by this time next year I would be holding a baby. So...if my math is correct, that means I should be pregnant in the next couple of months.
I am really trying to be faithful and just KNOW that it is TRUE and it will happen, but after 3 and a half years of waiting, I am not nearly as optimistic as I should be. So I pray in the morning that God will help me believe, that he will keep me encouraged and my heart light. I know that it is all in His timing...I just wish I knew His timing!
On Saturday I test drove a truck. My little Pon.tiac is finally about to kick the bucket and we need something big enough to haul our trailer with the quads on it. So...I test drove a Toy.ota Tu.ndra. I LOVED IT!!! It drove so easy and parked even easier! So now we are just trying to figure out how much (or how little) I can get for my little car and then go for it. Pace's truck will officially be paid off in a couple of days, so we can just swap his payment for a new one. Grrr I really wish we had the money to pay cash! (of course if we did have that kind of cash...we would probably hang on to it for IF treatments)
Cycle update: Still have no idea where I am in my cycle, however IF I ovulated this month, I would be 13DPO today. I am still trying to stick to the don't test, just wait for AF method this cycle. In order to get the most accurate test, you should use first morning urine and I can't handle testing before work, getting a BFN and then going to work again. Last month that really backfired on me, so I am going to try and avoid that this month. I woke up this morning and my bb's weren't nearly as sore, so I am not sure that is a good sign...but only God knows what he is doing with my body!
So...Seasons come and Seasons go. I sincerely hope that the Lord is bringing my Season of Infertility to a close.
2 comments:
I hear you on the season closing. Every time I see children born after we started trying, every time I think about "planning" and it not happening... but what can we really do? Trust God, pray, and walk faithfully. I love these verses in Matthew:
'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25-27
I pray your season is coming to an end.
Your truck sounds awesome! I'd totally love a truck or something I can move lots of things with. :o)
I also pray for your end to this season of infertility. It is difficult to trust blindly to God's plan. Especially when we cannot see it. However, that is the best gift you can give God is to have blind faith in Him and His plan. It is not something that can be done and then you are okay...it is an ongoing battle each day. I pray that God gives you an insight...even it if it is little to His plan. And that he wraps His arms around you and lets you know he is always there. Sending you HUGS and HOPE!!!
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