Back in the saddle

So, it is time. I am getting back in the saddle for the long, sweaty, unpredictable ride of another medicated cycle.

I went to my new dr. yesterday. She was really great! I told her all about our history and our desire to conceive and the first thing she asked me was if I had ever taken Clo mid. To which I responded "no" and expressed my dissatisfaction with our RE that we were seeing last year.

So after much discussion, she and I decided that we were going to try Clo mid. I go back to her on April 30th for an ultrasound to be sure that I have no cysts, and then...away we go. Even though Pace and I have been TTC since we got married, for some reason when we are seeking medical help (seeing and RE, taking drugs, Clo mid, etc.) just seems to add so much more stress to the whole situation. Last month seemed to go so easily. It was a little rough for me at the very end, but all in all, it wasn't a bad cycle. Now every time I think about having an u/s, taking Clo mid, doing ovulation prediction kits, my stomach curls up into a little tiny ball, my big toe goes numb and my heart skips a beat.

The worst part about all of this is that I will have just finished my first round of Clo mid when Mother's Day will be descending upon me. The dreaded holiday that I don't know if I will every be able to love again. In fact, infertility has really taken the "sparkle" off of all holidays. So, I will probably be a psychotic maniac mess for mothers day - consider yourself warned!

Please pray that Clo mid works, they will only let us do 6 months of this treatment, and I don't know what the next step will be after this.

I want to thank all of my lovely friends on the TTC board that continue to encourage and support even when I go MIA for a while. You ladies are the best and one of the main reasons I have made it through the last 3 years! Muah!