Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A little overwhelmed...

So...the vacation was wonderful. The weather was gorgeous, nice and cool - warm in the afternoon, cool in the morning and evening. The company was even better. I met a couple of Pace's aunts that I had never met before. They were lovely. They were warm and welcoming, we spent time with his Nana, his grandma and most of all, his (our) nieces. We have not seen them since our wedding 2 and a half years ago and I can't believe how big they have gotten. They are beautiful girls with so much love to give! They absolutely love uncle Pace! We took them shopping and bought them both He.ely's. (The shoes with a wheel in the heel) It was so fun! They were the first things we bought and the rest of our time with the girls was spent trying to teach them how to use them!

On a different note...I have met someone...haha - don't freak out. I mean I have met someone else in real life that is suffering from infertility. Well...she is fertile, but she suffers from Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. We were brought together through the Women's Center I volunteer at and she just so happened to open up to me that she was currently going through her third miscarriage. I feel like I have been friends with this woman for years and I have never even met her in person yet. We plan on getting together soon for dinner or something, but I am just ecstatic that I have found someone that lives within blocks of me that I can talk to and that will sympathize with where I am at.

I had my bloodwork done last week. It was a defining moment - it was a clear, distinct reminder that my body is broken, it is dysfunctional and malfunctioning. It also made me remember that Pace and I have been trying to start our family for over two and a half years. It all just hit home very quickly and brought me right back to that bitter pissed off Nichole I left behind a couple of months ago when we went on a TTC break. It makes me wonder if that will ever go away.

On a dramatic note...I told my roommate (our foreign exchange student) that she needed to find new living arrangements. I gave her until the end of the month. I just reached my breaking point and I just can't have someone in my house that doesn't respect my house or my husband. Pace and I both tried to talk to her tonight about her constantly rude disrespectful behavior and she had the audacity to tell Pace "why do I have to follow your rules?" and constantly interrupting him while he was talking. That is when I lost it. I told her that the conversation was over, if she couldn't respect my house and my husband then she needed to live somewhere else. I explained to her that I was tired of her behavior and was not going to put up with it anymore.

It is a bittersweet move. I really wanted it to work with her and I really wanted to be able to help her while she was in college here, but I just can't take the tension she brings to my house. is crazy, still, again...whatever. It is just dramatic. But, it is mine.


Fertilize Me said...

That picture with the rainbow is VERY overwhelming and beautiful. It kind of spoke to me about beauty and chaos all in the same moment. (sorry I am very visual of a person) I am glad that you got ot meet a reall live sufferer and will be getting to grab a bite with her and sounds like you had a wonderful trip. So sorry the blood tests broughtg back so many negative feelings. I will be thinking of you so that you will be able to begin to see the postive side as well. and for hte exchange student ....... UGH, as if you need more stressers !!

Changing Expectations said...

Good for you to take control of that situation. She doesn't sound like a good person to have around. How did you do it for this long?

Dreamer4agift said...

I'm glad to hear you had a good vacation, you def deserved it.

It's great you found a fellow IF-er that you can meet with in person. Wish I had that here. Oh well, good for you:)

Hopefully the bloodwork is just a small divet and you can keep your head up and stay strong.

As for the exchange girl...well, good for you in sticking up for you and hubby. There's no reason for anyone to treat someone disrespectfully that has allowed them in their house and lives. Errr...