Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Oye...Calgon take me away!

First it was Jessica Alba

then it was Lily Allen

and now...Jamie Lynn Spears @ 16 years old!!!


These stupid famous women having unplanned pregnancies. what great role models. I hope Jaime Lynn does get fired from Nickelodeon. Kids today already have enough delinquent role they really need any more.

Damn Fertile Myrtles!!!

Yes...I am bitter. I am hurt, confused, pissed and bitter.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 promised

Ok...well I am still here, still waiting on AF. Stupid winch. are a couple before and afters. Hope you enjoy!

Here is main hall looking out from the kitchen...BEFORE

Here it is AFTER
I will add more before and afters. I need to take some of the kitchen after I finish a few more touches, but this gives you an idea.

Monday, December 17, 2007


She cancelled. I shouldn't be surprised. I don't know why after an entire year of not communicating she all of a sudden wants to make contact, but then when I do respond to her and schedule something, she cancels. It feels like a slap in the face. She said "I will call you on Saturday to set up another time to meet." It is Monday now and I still haven't heard from her. Some people never change. I am done trying with her, the ball is in her court.

As the holidays grow closer, it makes me sad. I miss my parents and the snow and it actually FEELING like Christmas outside. Christmas just isn't the same here in Arizona. I miss my family traditions like spending an entire Saturday listening to Christmas music with my mom while we decorate the house. I miss baking cookies and goodies with my mom, putting plates together and delivering them to our neighbors.

I wish Pace and I had kids so we could start our own family traditions and so I could carry on some of my family's traditions. I just can't imagine being able to celebrate Christmas morning with our own child and how amazing that will be. Being able to see the Spirit of Christmas through the eyes of a child. To be able to teach them about Baby Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas. Only in my most amazing dreams!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Friendships and houses

The boxes are unpacked, the air fresheners are up and the house is actually starting to look like our house. I absolutely love our house. I love coming home, I love just sitting and staring at the walls, the floors, the cabinets...everything. I love being in the front yard, I love being in the backyard, I love being in every room of the house!!!

OK...that is enough love...

AF still hasn't shown up. I am not really sure what I am supposed to do if she decides not to come this month. I guess I will call my dr. at the beginning of the year if she isn't here.

I have some new stuff going on in the "friend" department. I have been hanging out with this really cool chick I will call her "J". She has suffered through 3 miscarriages in the last 3 years and I must say it is wonderfully amazing to have a friend in real life that suffers from infertility as well. ..Well...she isn't infertile, she has no problem GETTING pregnant, she just hasn't been able to HOLD a pregnancy yet. Anyway...she has been a great friend. We cry to each other, make each other laugh, vent our baby frustrations to each other and at the end of the day we know that we will wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
I enjoy talking to her because she is very funny, sarcastic, smart and man does she know her politics!

I know I said I would post pics of the house, but I just haven't taken the time to download them to my computer yet. I promise I will get them to you soon.

Oh...another new thing in the friend department. If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you will remember the story about my friend from a year ago when we had a HUGE blowout regarding my infertility and her utter disrespect for my sensitivity to the subject. We haven't talked since that day, and tomorrow morning at 7:15 am I will be sitting across the table from her at Starbucks. I don't know why I continue to feel this desire to have a friendship with her. But I do, and apparently she does to. I am very nervous to see her. I really hope she is at least sensitive enough to not bring her son. Although I would love to see him, I just don't want to see him right now. So, I will fill you in on the conversation as soon as I can. Again, I have no idea what to expect or what will happen.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Life Choices

Wow! A lot has transpired in a week! Pace and I have moved into our new home and I don't know who loves it or the dogs. It is so much fun to watch Lucky run around the backyard with the sense of freedom and carelessness.

The house is coming along. I will post pics soon. The flooring is done, the painting is done, the unpacking is...NOT. This has been the hardest move for us for some reason. I think we are just putting more pride into where things are going, how things look than we did before in the rental homes. I don't know, I just can't explain it.

On the TTC side...we are just waiting. This is my first month without taking Progesterone to bring on AF. We will see if she shows or not. I would really prefer that she NOT show, and a positive pregnancy test show up instead. What an amazing Christmas present that would be! I can't even imagine.

There is a possible adoption thing in the works. I don't really want to divulge any details right now just because there is so many things that are unknown surrounding this situation and I don't know if Pace and I are even ready to move forward with that right now. We would be adopting a brother & sister combo - the mother does not want them separated. The girl is 9 and the boy is 10 months. Please just pray for us as we do some serious soul searching and praying to determine what the Lord has planned for these two children and Pace and I.

Thank you!