Tuesday, January 30, 2007

All Systems Go!

Well, I got the "ok" from my Dr. this morning to start the Femera. I had to go in and have an internal ultrasound done to make sure there were no cysts on my ovaries first.
Do you realize how mortifying it is to have an INTERNAL ultrasound on Day 3 of your period??? I am not sure who thought that up, but it seems pretty Icky to me!
At least it was a woman that did the ultrasound, so I felt a little better.

I cried when I left the Dr. appt. Oddly enough, this time they were tears of joy. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to give this IUI a shot. I really feel like the Lord is walking with Mr. Clinger and I right now. I am not saying that the Lord told me it was going to WORK...I just feel his presence with me. It is quite humbling and wonderfully relieving!

So...here we are at the beginning of an amazing journey within a horrifyingly difficult journey...thank each of you for walking it with me! I will update you on how the Femera works!

Monday, January 29, 2007

She's Here!

Finally, she is here in all of her painful glory! She showed up bright and early yesterday morning. So...today is CD 2 (cycle day 2) I am just waiting ot hear back from my RE to schedule my first U/S (ultrashound) appt. I guess that means I will start the Femera tomorrow since tomorrow will be CD 3.
I am pretty sure that is what the schedule says. Good thing I have it all written down at home or I might very well screw this whole thing up.
So, the way I figure it, if all goes according to plan from here on out (I'm not holding by breath) The actual insemination should occur Mon or Tues of next week.
So surreal! Our time is finally here. God please let this work!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Damn mind games

So I took my last Provera Tuesday night. So...as of 9:00 pm last night, my body should have started going into the Provera withdrawals which will ultimately bring on AF (Aunt Flo).
I woke up this morning...nothing. No cramps, no irritability (actually I am in a better mood today than I have been in all week), no AF. OK...so I know I am jumping the gun a little, but...the longer I wait, the more mind games my body plays on me.
I stood up from my desk earlier and thought I felt something, so I ran to the bathroom...nothing.
As I sit here, the cramps are starting...but are they really starting or is my mind just so dead set on AF coming today that I am making them up?
I actually have the ability to make myself feel these things. I can make myself feel morning sickness (that obviously isn't there) I can make myself feel ovulation (which of course is preposterous since I DON'T ovulate!), I can make myself feel cramps (that are absolutely not there)
You thought I was kidding when I told you I was on the verge of a breakdown...but now, you have proof.
I don't do this intentionally, it just HAPPENS. I try to talk my brain out of it, but it won't listen.
So...here I sit with fake cramping wishing I could just go home, take a percocet and fall into a deep deep sleep. Then not wake up until the REAL cramps have come and the REAL AF is here so my STUPID brain will stop tricking me!
OK...now you can laugh.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

On my knees begging Aunt Flo to visit

OK...women all over the world literally hate Aunt Flo. They don't like any part of her visit (unless of course they are relying on her to tell them if they accidentally got pregnant or not) Women actually have changed birth control and take special pills to make their body only have periods 4 times a year.
And here I am in all my non-ovulating glory on my knees literally BEGGING Aunt Flo to visit me again.

That's right - I took a pregnancy test this morning...NEGATIVE. Of COURSE it was negative. After 2 years, why would I expect anything different? So on my way home tonight I get to pick up my prescription for Provera which I will take every day for 7 days along with my Prenatal vitamins and after the seven days...I will have dragged Aunt Flo's lazy ass, kicking and screaming to my doorstep.
Yep...most girls have to take pills to keep her away...I have to take pills just to get her ass to visit every once in a while!
Ahhhh, the irony!
Anywho...that is the update for now. Just waiting for Aunt Flo to show up, stack away as much money as possible and then get this show on the road.

Start praying for me if you haven't already, I think I am already on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

IUI here we come!

OK...so not PCOS, not CUSHINGS...we have no idea what the hell I have except for a hormone imbalance.
Thanks...I could have told you that 13 years ago.
Anywho...Dr. R suggests that we move forward with IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) Because my hormones are so wacky, trying to adjust them with just medicine may result in a spontaneous release of a huge amount of eggs and since Mr. Clinger has good swimmers, thus resulting in a pregnancy with multiples. Like...more than 2 or 3. Which would be very dangerous (And quite fitting according to Murphy's Law) for babies and me.
So...the game plan
Wait 2 weeks
Take a pregnancy test
If positive GAME OVER - I WIN!!
If negative-start Provera to bring on a period
On day 1 or 2 of period, have an ultrasound done to check for any cysts on the ovaries
If no cysts - start taking Femara on days 3-7 twice a day
Go in on Day 10 for ultrasound to check for follicles
If I have plenty of good strong follicles I will be instructed to give myself a shot of Ovidrel which will then tell my ovaries to release the follicles
36 hours later Mr. Clinger will "do his business" in a cup at Dr. R's office
The wash the sperm (to seperate it from the semen)
Then they inject the washed sperm in me
Wait two weeks
Take a pregnancy test
Not quite what you thought when you thought of "making a baby" huh? No candles, no chocolate covered strawberries, no champagne
Just lots of eggs, clean sperm, a lot of stainless steel and an audience.

Life is a charm isn't it?

Don't get me wrong...I am so happy to have a game plan. I really am. It has been almost 2 years with no end in sight and now, at least I can take a pg test and actually know that there is a chance that it might be positive.
I am just so overwhelmed and this is not at all what I had expected!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy New Year!

Well, here it is 2007. I thought by now my belly would be as swollen as a tick. Well...it's not, ok, it is a little swollen, but that is a result of being fat...not pregnant. But, I do have an appt. today to get the results of all of my tests and hopefully will be able to put together a game plan.
It has been a month since Mr. Clinger and I have smoked...ok, I admit, we did try to smoke a cigarette on New Years Eve, but it hurt so bad and was so disgusting, neither of us could go through with it. I guess that is a good thing right!!!
So...one month without smoking. Woo Hoo! That is the longest I have gone without a cigarette since I was 16 years old...almost 10 years ago! My how time flies!
Anyway...Happy New Years! I'll update on my appt. tomorrow