So life is just absolutely crazy right now. Work is probably the most peaceful place for me to be and that says a lot cause work is STRESSFUL!!! Our foreign exchange student is back and just as I expected...it is NOT working. ALREADY! Pace is pissed off all the time, I am not sure I remember the last time he and I just sat back and had fun together. It seems it is all business lately. Home buying, exchange students, work, finances, family yada yada yada.
It is absolutely DRAINING! I mean how much serious stuff can you take before you just crack?
Pace and I are going on vacation this weekend. I can't wait. I am so sick of the heat here. We broke the record number of days over 110 today. What a freakin record! Yep...29 days so far this year with temperatures over 110. GRrrrrr. I just want it to be cool outside, and this weekend, I will at least be able to get a taste of that. We are going to Salt Lake City to see Pace's family. Family that we have not seen in almost 3 years. It will be a good trip. I love staying in hotels...sadly that is the part I am looking forward to the most.
We have been looking at homes. The market here has been nuts for the last couple of years, so right now we are just kind of taking our time, looking at different houses trying to get a feel for what we are looking for, where we want to live and how much we want to spend. I am excited yet a little scared about buying a house. Not only for the financial obligation, but for what it means to our future. I mean we have been saying for the last couple of months that once we buy a house, we will get back to the Dr. and start TTC treatments again. Just the thought of it makes me shutter.
I think about infertility every day, but it doesn't control everything I do. There was a time when we were in the middle of IUI cycles when every single thought I had revolved around TTC. It took me so long to get out of that mentality and frankly, I am scared to start TTC (with treatment) again because I don't want to lose myself to it again. I don't want to become the monster I was. Granted...I still have monster days when seeing a pregnant women, a cute little family walking into a restaurant, or a dad playing catch with his son makes me throw up in my mouth a little. I just can't help it.
We are back in church and dealing all the time with our faith and infertility, and I am learning more and more about myself all the time.
I have been deeply saddened the last couple of weeks as one of my blogger and myspace friends Lara as well as one of my in real life friends are both healing from very sudden and recent miscarriages. Please keep these women in your prayers and ask for peace, and healing for them.
I will post some pics of our vacation when I get back! Have a great Labor Day weekend and I am sorry I haven't been writing much lately...LIFE IS CRAZY!!!