That's right folks...Mr. Clinger is as healthy as a lark and so are his "little soldiers". So... it is all me, the reason we haven't conceived is all me.
That is very bitter sweet to me.
On one hand, I am SO grateful that we are not battling infertility from his side as well, but at the same time, I think it would help him understand my feelings and where I am coming from a little better, and maybe I wouldn't feel so alone.
Knowing that I am not able to give my husband a son/daughter naturally is a devastating feeling! I feel like a failure as a wife and ...well... as a woman.
If you are failing at something you were born into...what does that make you?
I don't know...it just sucks that this is happening to us and there is no way around it.
More and more of my friends are having babies, and all I can do is put on a smile and try to muster through yet another baby shower.
(sigh)
It's been a rough week. - Just the kind of week that calls for a hot bubble bath, glass of wine and some smooth jazz...yep...that is what I am going to do with my evening!
1 comment:
i went ahead and read back a few posts -- got the extended story. I'm frustrated for you, but I can't help but be optimistic that things will eventually get better. =) You WILL have a baby. Just be patient (i'm sure you LOOOVE hearin' that...) and i'm glad to see you guys are trying to quit smoking. How's that workin so far? Alec is trying to quit too; he still get's the hankering for one whenever he drinks more than one beer: parties, etc., but it's coming along.
anyhoo, i hope you get good news soon. once again, sorry for the myspace comment. i honestly had no idea you guys were trying... you KNOW of course that i'm not that smart =)
just know that i love you and i'm rooting for you!
-casey
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