Thursday, February 01, 2007


I totally understand that the world does not revolve around me. I do REALLY!
However, I find some recent occurrences in my life quite odd.
Babies are everywhere. The further and further I get into this infertility thing...the more I am convinced that the cosmic universe is really trying to piss me off. Planting pregnant women and newborn babies in every unsuspecting place imaginable.
Example #1: American Idol just started. I thought of all shows, this would be a "safe" show. No babies, no pregnant people, right? Wrong. There was last week. Millions of you saw it. The contestant that missed his wife giving birth to their second child in order to audition on American Idol. They actually took American Idol cameras to her hospital room and filmed dads first look at his baby. Priceless
Example #2: I watch the O.C. Don't hold it against me, it used to be a good show (and a good excuse to get together with my girlfriends on Thursday). I am painfully aware of how bad the show is now, however there are only 4 episodes left, so I can't help myself. Kirsten Cohen (now well into her 40's) ends up pregnant. Then the show goes into great detail of her abortion when she was in High School and her guilt following that abortion. Her only living child is now going off to college and OOPS...she is now pregnant. The OOPS factor is the part that really burns. So I decide to change the channel to my new addiction, Grey's Anatomy
Example #3: On Grey's Anatomy they have opened up a free clinic and the first patient is a 13 year old girl who comes in and confessed that she is sexually active and "that it would really suck if I was pregnant." know what else would suck little girl? That your promiscuity as a teenager would lead to several STD's which prevent you from having children when you are old enough and are ready to have children. Or even worse get an STD that will KILL you!
(insert rant)
Why is it that young men and women feel that pregnancy is the worse thing that can happen to them if they are sexually active with multiple partners? Pregnancy is not terminal, it will not (under most circumstances) kill you, you will not have to be medically treated for it for the rest of your life, you will not have the obligation to tell every sexual partner you are with for the rest of your life that if they engage in sexual intercourse with you, they may catch it. It will not break down your immune system to the point that you wilt away into nothing and eventually die from it.
So why does our youth have the mentality that pregnancy is the worst thing that could happen to them if they are sexually active? Where have they learned this?
I volunteer at a women's crisis center. I deal with sexually active clients on a regular basis, most of them come to our clinic for pregnancy tests. Whether their test is positive or negative, I am always shocked at the look I get when I ask when they are going to get checked for STD's. What??? Me??? no,no,no...I don't need to get checked...we used a CONDOM...OK, I get that, but you just took a PREGNANCY TEST!!! We are obviously missing something here.
(rant over)
I watch the news in the morning while I am getting ready for work. I guess I am just at glutton for stories about death, rape, murder, robberies, car crashes and the Suns. Anyway...I am getting ready the other morning and a commercial comes on. It is for a new way of "permanent" birth control. Can't remember the name....the main thing I remember about this commercial is a woman probably in her mid to late 30's saying "and my insurance company paid for the entire procedure."
Ahhhh Lady...give me a break here!!! I really don't feel like crying in my Grape-Nuts this morning! My insurance company won't pay for $*&%, but I guess if I ever want to permanently destroy the hope of ever having biological children, my insurance will pay for that. That is really good to know, just in case my body starts spontaneously producing mass amounts of children. I will have to take down that number the next time I see the commercial and put it in my wallet for a rainy day.
(insert vomiting here)
So, the moral of the story is...they are everywhere. Pregnant women, newborn babies, baby toys, baby products, everywhere. Don't get me wrong...I love them. I love pregnant women ( I do, I think they are adorable) I love babies (obviously) I love baby toys, products, everything about them. But right now, at this distinct time in my life, they are all painful reminders of my struggle.
I decided tonight that around 6 in the evening is the best time to grocery shopping because those with children are either at home preparing dinner for their children, putting them to bed, or taking them to soccer practice. Therefore, my chances of running into pregnant women or newborns is decreased.
(When I shared this expert advice to the cashier tonight she said...oh...and where are your kids? ...
My response: "I wish I knew.")


Melissa said...

I totally feel your pain! The longer I go without getting pregnant the harder it is to be surrounded by those reminders.

I'll be following your cycle - I hope the Femara works for you! That is one of the options my doctor laid out for me. However, I haven't gotten much info about it's safety - if you don't mind me asking, what did your dr tell you about it?

Cindy said... need to have this published. It was brilliantly written and speaks loudly of the frustration and out right rage that women go thru who are trying to bring life and those that have such disdain for it. The irresponsibility of society today in maintaining and keeping relationships through love makeing and intimatecy is disgusting. I am truly proud of you and Pace for your efforts although there is a monetary and emotional expense. When this baby is born the world will be changed! I love you

Cindy Jo

Tanner said...


I have -so- been there! There is no escaping. They're every where! We need to invest in our own little island that there is no talk of pregnancy and no pregnant people.

Going to Target is always a drag.