Monday, November 09, 2009

Family Building Symposium

Wow - what a weekend! It was awesome! I will start with Saturday...

I went to the Family Building Symposium which was amazing. There weren't too many people there which was nice because the groups were smaller as a result. I got a lot of amazing information on adoption as well as some other treatment options. It definitely ruled out some treatments for me and I felt more comfortable with adoption at the end.

The most amazing part was the door prizes - they had two boxes in the front that you could put your raffle tickets into (each person got 1) you could choose the "Treatment" box or the "Adoption" box. There were 4 prizes for the treatment box, but only 1 for the adoption. I thought long and hard about which box I should put my ticket into and for some reason I chose the adoption. The odds were much worse in the adoption box, but for some reason I felt led to place my ticket in that box. Well ladies...guess what??? I WON!!!! Want to know the prize: A free adoption home study! That is a value of up to $1,600 and is also the first step in adopting. I was SO excited! It made me sad that Pace wasn't there to enjoy the moment with me, but I was so excited.

The symposium was a bit overwhelming and honestly at the end of the day I was exhausted and completely over-stimulated. I needed a break. So I went home cracked open a beer and invited my friends J&K over and we played Rock Ba.nd until WAY past my bedtime. We had so much fun and K&I were laughing so hard at one point we were both crying. It was a blast!

I got a phone call yesterday from a friend of my pregnant friend and she asked me if I wanted to help with a baby shower for my friend. At first my gut clenched tight and I started sweating a bit. Then she asked me if we could do it at my house and...I actually relaxed a little bit. If it is in my house then I have a little more control over the situation and I could step out (or away) when needed without feeling uncomfortable or out of place. So I guess I am now planning and hosting my very first baby shower. It will be in January, so I have a lot of time to prepare and get myself used to the idea.

I actually think it will be ok. Sure, some of it will probably be hard, but I will make it through. I need to start living and just dealing with the pain. I need to power through and become an active member of society again. I need a life. I want a life and I think if I can prove to myself that I am able to host a baby shower and survive...I will feel much better about myself and the entire situation as a whole.

What do you ladies think? Am I crazy???


♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

well first, WAY TO GO ON WINNING THE DOOR PRIZE. How freaking awesome is that.
2nd, I think it is GREAT that not only are you gonna help with the shower but that you are gonna host it at your house. You are one lucky girl. You can do this and you will make it perfect, I just know.

Jill said...

How exciting that you won the prize!! Glad you learned a lot at the symposium.

I don't think you're crazy for hosting the shower, just brave. :) It will be hard or maybe bittersweet but you will earn some good karma!

Angelwingsbaby said...

Wow how exciting that you won the adoption prize! You are on your way to having what you need to get the process started! I have missed talking to you, hope everything is well.((hugs))

Jess said...

Congrats on winning the prize! I think you put your ticket in the right box! :)

I love that you are moving forward and finding peace...our babies are going to grow in our hearts and honestly, there is no other place more perfect for a baby to grow. "Anyone" can have a child but not everyone can mother a child!

Love you...can't wait until your phone call...I have so much to tell you! I spoke to our agency today!

Jenn said...

Congrats on winning the home study! That's awesome! I think that by hosting it at your own home is a good idea for the reasons you said. You are more in 'control' of everything, and you can use your 'hosting duties' excuse to duck out when you need a break for your sanity.

Anna said...

WOO HOO for the free home study! YAY! In answer to your shower deal, I will say that I'm avoiding those altogether. BUT if I HAD to go to one, I think it would be easiest at my own house. So good for you!!

LJ said...

I remember feeling mentally spent after our first agency info session, it's a lot to take in.

But WOOT at getting the free home study! Every little bit helps!!!

Hillary said...

Wow, congrats on winning such an awesome prize!!

And, no, I don't think your crazy. Maybe you should think about it for a few days to make sure it still sits right with you, but go for it!

Prayingforamiracle said...

Yeah a free adoption home study how cool was that! Maybe it was a sign.

I think it was really very nice of you to offer to host the baby shower. Maybe you are right about it taking some of the pressure off. Since it is at your house you could always be busy doing things if/when it gets to be a bit overwhelming.

addingtothepack said...

That is awesome! It is so nice to hear you's been a while. :)

I don't think you are crazy for hosting either -- it definitely gives you a lot more control. And you know all us infertiles crave control over something. ;)

Dreamer4agift said...

I am SO happy for you that you won the door prize!!! I'll admit it, I teared up.

You are NOT crazy in the least. It's good to be challenged every once in awhile. In the end, you'll either have a great time or a not-so-great time (I'm voting for the first). But no matter the outcome, you can have pride in yourself that you took the challenge, persevered, and survived.