Wow - what a weekend! It was awesome! I will start with Saturday...
I went to the Family Building Symposium which was amazing. There weren't too many people there which was nice because the groups were smaller as a result. I got a lot of amazing information on adoption as well as some other treatment options. It definitely ruled out some treatments for me and I felt more comfortable with adoption at the end.
The most amazing part was the door prizes - they had two boxes in the front that you could put your raffle tickets into (each person got 1) you could choose the "Treatment" box or the "Adoption" box. There were 4 prizes for the treatment box, but only 1 for the adoption. I thought long and hard about which box I should put my ticket into and for some reason I chose the adoption. The odds were much worse in the adoption box, but for some reason I felt led to place my ticket in that box. Well ladies...guess what??? I WON!!!! Want to know the prize: A free adoption home study! That is a value of up to $1,600 and is also the first step in adopting. I was SO excited! It made me sad that Pace wasn't there to enjoy the moment with me, but I was so excited.
The symposium was a bit overwhelming and honestly at the end of the day I was exhausted and completely over-stimulated. I needed a break. So I went home cracked open a beer and invited my friends J&K over and we played Rock Ba.nd until WAY past my bedtime. We had so much fun and K&I were laughing so hard at one point we were both crying. It was a blast!
I got a phone call yesterday from a friend of my pregnant friend and she asked me if I wanted to help with a baby shower for my friend. At first my gut clenched tight and I started sweating a bit. Then she asked me if we could do it at my house and...I actually relaxed a little bit. If it is in my house then I have a little more control over the situation and I could step out (or away) when needed without feeling uncomfortable or out of place. So I guess I am now planning and hosting my very first baby shower. It will be in January, so I have a lot of time to prepare and get myself used to the idea.
I actually think it will be ok. Sure, some of it will probably be hard, but I will make it through. I need to start living and just dealing with the pain. I need to power through and become an active member of society again. I need a life. I want a life and I think if I can prove to myself that I am able to host a baby shower and survive...I will feel much better about myself and the entire situation as a whole.
What do you ladies think? Am I crazy???