Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Coming up for air

I finally have a minute to blog and update you all. Not really a whole lot going on right now fertility wise - just trying to wait until my surgery. I just want it to be over with. I want to know what the heck this thing is inside of me attaching itself to my ovary.

I have been crampy the last couple of days and was hoping that AF was on her way, but no cigar. I have been having some sharp pains in my left ovary today and I hope that is not related to the "ovarian mass". I just want it gone and I want the pathology report back ASAP. It is going to be so hard to wait until August 5th to get the results back.

I have been swamped at work this week which has made the days fly by which is a good thing. I haven't had time to write on my blog, but I have been reading all of yours out there. Jess - I really hate that I can't comment on your blog, but I am so proud of you for passing your first exam!

I had another pregnancy announcement on Sunday. I was a little upset because she is a very close friend of mine, knows all about our IF, but she and DH still told us about their pregnancy in the middle of a BBQ with about 20 of our other friends. We were the last people they told (which is why they told us at the BBQ because they didn't want us to hear it from anyone else at the BBQ) It sucked because we were the last ones to know and I thought (or I guess I hoped) that they would be comfortable enough to tell us before the felt that they had to in order to prevent us from finding out from someone else.

I feel pretty defeated with another pregnancy, another impending baby shower, surgery coming up, financial constraints preventing us from fertility treatments and adoption right now and some other stuff going on that I can't share on the Internet. Just kind of stressed and defeated and just waiting for this surgery to be over so I can try to regain some hope again.


Jess said...

Hang in there love! I know you are reading my blogs...you would miss me too much otherwise, lol!

I'm praying for you daily, and I hope they kill that little sucker for attaching itself to your ovary! I'm interested to find out what it is too! I really hope/pray that this is your last hurdle!

You know how I feel about the last part! I'm so sorry! The stuff you can't share on the internet, you can always text or call me, I'm here for you babe!


Angelwingsbaby said...

I am here if you need me,call anytime,((HUGS))

♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

Nichole, im sorry that things seem to be going so tuff for you right now. I pray that August 5th gets here super fast for you and me both. Keeping you and pace in our thoughts & prayers.
Love ya Girl :)

Amanda said...

Your friends at the BBQ totally reminded me of a "Dear Prudence" from the other week (http://www.slate.com/id/2222828/) While I agree with her advice on the whole, I did actually send her an email that their is one bit of etiquette that the couple should follow when they do become pregnant, and that's to quietly and privately inform their friends of their announcement ahead of time so that they aren't caught off guard in a public place when they receive that news. To me it's just something that a friend does to be considerate to another friend when they know that they've experienced a loss or are having infertility problems.

Hang in there.

Dana said...

thinking about you! I am so sorry things suck right now. I know what ya mean about being defeated. EVERYONE I graduated with is either pg or just had a baby. Love..love..love you!

Dreamer4agift said...


Jess said...

What is August 5th? I thought your surgery is July 29th?


Amber said...

hang in there I know your time is coming hopefully sooner rather than later:)

Bec said...

It all just sucks. I have been praying a lot lately, for you as well. I know it might not seem like much, but I hope it helps, if only a bit.

Pregnancy announcements, especially group announcements like that, are just hard.