Thursday, October 08, 2009

Pregnancy Announcements

This year has been full of them. I am once again in the phase where it seems like almost everyone I know is pregnant. I actually have a "fall" and a "spring" phase for whatever reason, so here I am. I have given a lot of thought to pregnancy announcements over the last couple of weeks and would like to share some of them with you.

Pregnancy announcement #1: Via myspace. This was a person that I used to be related to via marriage and who knows about our struggles.

Pregnancy announcement #2: In private on our way to dinner with some girlfriends, my friend told me she was expecting.

Pregnancy announcement #3: At a party in front of all our friends, my friend tells me that she is pregnant. She and her husband know everything about our infertility and we considered them some of our closest, best friends

Pregnancy announcement #4: Via an email, my cousin announced her pregnancy to the family

Pregnancy announcement #5: Via the news. Haha - don't let your mind jump to conclusions. It is actually the weather lady on the news that I watch EVERY morning while getting ready for work. (ok, so I don't KNOW her and she certainly doesn't KNOW me, but it is a pregnancy that I am faced with every day) LOL

Pregnancy announcement #6: Via text message. A friend and sort of relative announced that she and her husband are expecting

All of these announcements have occurred between February '09 and today. All of them were announced in different ways and each made me feel like I was punched in the stomach.

I don't know what the best way of announcing a pregnancy to an infertile woman is, but I can tell you the one that destroyed me the most was the one that was announced in public at a party. That was by far the hardest announcement to go through. Especially when both of them knew how badly we want a child of our own. It was down right cruel.

Anyone care to share a pregnancy announcement? Good or Bad? Leave a comment I would love to hear of your experiences!


Jess said...

Mine was lovely! I had just gotten out of surgery to remove my tumor (the one that caused my last miscarriage) and my brother and his lovely gf decided to announce to everyone 2 days before my surgery that they were expecting. My mom had to tell me right after surgery, so I wouldn't have to go to work in a few days and find out from everyone that B was pregnant! Stupid bitch (B not my mom, lol)...she couldn't wait until I was out of pregnancy to rub it in my face that she was pregnant.

I think your B and my B are assholes!

Prayingforamiracle said...

A relative announcing at a party they were extecting and then coming to me and telling me to rub her belly, maybe it will help. Seriously?

Leslee said...

Getting told by text message or phone is horrible by a friend. I know it all too well. :(

Michelle said...

I've had a few in last few months.
My least favorite was announced last weekend on Facebook, with a phone call a few moments later from my friends husband.. not from her. Mind you, she did not know anything of my IF. I broke down and told her everything this past week.

Sissy said...

I have had 27 (how is that possible?) friends / acquaintances / family members announce pregnancies this year. One was from a friend who knows I had a miscarriage in August. She decided to include me in a mass email of her first sonogram a couple weeks after my miscarriage. Hmm, a little heads up would have been nice. She also let us know they only "tried" for one month. ummm, that is not called trying.

Anna said...

My personal favorite is when your friend who got married a week before you, who thought you were crazy 2 and a half years ago when you told her you were going to start TTC, who said "we're gonna wait a LONG time", posts a picture of her three positive pregnancy tests on Facebook. (This is also the "friend" who chewed me out on my blog because I was upset that I wasn't pregnant. I believe her exact words were "get over yourself.") Love that one.

Oh, or there's the one where your in-law got pregnant on her honeymoon after telling you that she "would never do that to you" and that she wanted to wait a year. Oh, and she also went on and on about her pants not fitting anymore when she was only 6 weeks pregnant, and it just HAPPENED to also be on your friggin' birthday. And to ice THAT cake, she also posts on Facebook all the time about how it's "the year of the Lord's favor" for her, and she is so excited and cannot BELIEVE she is going to be a mommy.

OOOO, or there is always the other in-law who offered a year ago to help you pay for infertility treatments, then spent the money on something else without telling you. She DID however, remember to tell you that SHE was pregnant, only a week after the first in-law announced hers. Ha!

At the moment, I have THREE, count 'em, THREE pregnant sisters. One biological and 2 in-laws. And people wonder why I'm depressed all the time. I can't GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT!!!!!

an insight into me said...

The hardest ones I've had to deal with are the ones who are due this week, the same time I should be due after my 4th miscarriage.

Also the ones who are announcing that they are currently knocked up, just as I've experienced my 5th loss.

No pregnancy announcement is easy to hear no matter how it is delivered but lately, as I repeatedly fail at this supposed natural process, every announcement feels like a kick in the gut no matter how happy I actually am for the person announcing.


Emily Weber said...

What happens to me whenever someone in my family gets pregnant...they're too scared to tell me, so they just don't and my mom ends up breaking it to me. Nice,huh? Friends and aquaintences I usually see it on their blog first. Or facebook.

Lauren said...

Last year, one of my closest friends (one of my matrons of honor) announced her pregnancy at a large benefit with tons of people. It was made harder by the fact that just a couple hours earlier at the same place, we found out another casual friend was pregnant (when we arrived we saw her for the first time in a long time, with a nice plump belly). When my close friend asked when this casual friend was due, she got a grin on her face and said, "Oh, that's not long after I'm due!" That's how she told me her news. Yay.