AF arrived. I am SO thankful that this cycle is over. I am looking forward to the next two cycles. We are going au natural this time and I am really looking forward to seeing what my body does without drugs. I am not going to get my hopes up, I am going to look at this as more of an experiment than anything.
Halloween wasn't as hard this year as last year. We had Pace's little sister and he stayed home to hand out candy while I took her trick or treating. She was so much fun and looked absolutely adorable. We didn't have very many kids come, so we have TONS of candy left over (yeah) that has really come in handy with AF being in town.
My dear friend "J" is back in the states from Iraq. It was so awesome to see pics of him and his wife together again (finally) he is back in town for 2 weeks and then will go back to Iraq for 3 months. I wish he could just stay here. I hate him being over there and I know his wife does too. I can't wait to see him - we are going to throw him a little "WELCOME HOME" party on Saturday.
Pace and I made a memory box for our angel baby a few days ago. I cried like a baby putting it together. It just seemed so final. We haven't really decided where we are going to hang it, we thought about keeping it in our bedroom because I really think some people think I am loony for taking this whole miscarriage thing as far as I have. After all...miscarriages are common...why am I making such a big deal about it? My answer to that is...I waited and struggled for this child for 3 and a half years. Our angel baby may be the closest we will ever get to a biological child and s/he WAS a child. OUR child. I don't want anyone to forget. I don't want to forget. Our baby deserves to have a place on our wall since s/he will never have a place in the nursery.
My friend Jess (who has 3 angel babies herself) suggests that we hang it in our living room. Hang it proudly and always know that our little baby is right there with us. I think I agree with her. The whole point of doing the memory box is so that we will remember...so...here it is...it isn't hung up yet, but will be soon.
The thing on the left is the poem that I wrote 3 days after my miscarriage. My two positive pregnancy tests are in there, there is a calendar saying from my desk calendar for August 9th, 2008 - the day I found out I was pregnant. The pacifier is part of the "congratulations" package we received from OBGYN, the footprints at the bottom is part of the program from the "Walk to Remember" we participated in a few weeks ago. The cross I bought and painted and the roses are from the flowers we received from Jess and her husband when we found out we were pregnant. I love this box. Every time I see it, I smile. (and then usually cry) but I am sure that will pass....someday.