The title of this post has many meanings.
I had my post-op appt. today. It went fairly well. He said that I had "medium" endometriosis but that everything else looks great. I asked him about doing clo.mid again and he said he wanted us to wait 3 months and if we haven't conceived by then, he wanted me to try the Clo.mid. I giggled. I told him that we have been trying for 4 years, and that if I magically get pregnant in the next 3 months WITHOUT treatment...I would kiss the ground he walks on. And I will...Mark my word.
So we are trying "naturally" for the next 3 months, although none of this really feels natural. All the looking for symptoms, counting the days, temperature taking, baby aspirin, Met.formin, thyroid meds, prenatal vitamins, preseed, ovulation tests, pregnancy tests...feels VERY unnatural.
Pace and I had dinner with friends last Friday. They have two adorable sons 7 and 5. Both of her boys were "oops" pregnancies and now...you guessed it. They are trying again. It scares me to my core getting that call from her. How will she tell me? Will she be scared to tell me? Will she tell me at all? I am so tired of this IF crap interrupting my relationships!
Then, I get an email from my sister yesterday. She is 1.5 cm dilated and is looking to have my niece or nephew next week. My parents will be flying out to her house next week so that they can help when the baby is born. I am so happy to have another niece or nephew, but it also reminds me that I should be giving birth in 3 months. The 3 months that I have to wait to see if I can conceive on my own should be the last 3 months of my pregnancy. It just isn't fair.
I am trying to keep my head up and look straight ahead, but the next 3 months are going to be very difficult my friends. Very difficult. Many of my friends are looking to add their 2nd or 3rd child right now, my two sisters and going to be giving birth in the next 2 months and my due date...oh...that dreaded day.
Yep...here we go again. The hurry up and wait game. Someone please wake me up when the next 3 months are over or I am kno.cked up.