Saturday, January 31, 2009

Seriously...think before you speak

I just got back from dinner and drinks with some friends and I am so upset. We aren't real close with these people, but we have known them for years and they are one of the few couples we know that don't have kids. The last time we saw them was August 9th, 2008. You do you remember the exact date?

That was the date we found out we were pregnant and idiotically enough announced it to anyone and everyone that crossed our path. They were 2 of the chosen ones. Speed up 5 months to tonight. They don't know that I miscarried. They show up at the restaurant and the first thing she says to me is "So are you all big and pregnant" ...I stood up out of the booth to hug her (although I silently wanted to strangle her) and said "no...we lost the baby." She said nothing, took her seat and we continued with stupid witty banter conversation.

About an hour later she asks "So are you guys trying for more babies?" I tell her yes, told them that I just had surgery and that we are hoping that the surgery was the answer and we would soon be pregnant. However we know that the plan is not ours and we will soon begin to look at adoption if we aren't able to conceive.

She replies "You guys just need to relax"

I jab my elbow into Pace's side as if to say "Please hold me down because I may rip her head off and spit down her throat."

She continues..."my co-worker tried for 4 years, and finally she said that she was done trying and BAM 2 months later she was pregnant."

I retorted "If relaxing would make me ovulate, I would be the happiest person on earth"

At this point I notice her husband's discomfort. He laughs nervously, focuses his attention to the basketball game on the TV and silently tells his wife to shut the F*&$ up. However, she continues to tell us how someone she knows spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have 2 kids and after the were born, the dad decided he wanted to get sterilized. 2 weeks before the "big snip" (her words, not mine) his wife ended up pregnant. "See...all you need to do is relax and it will happen."

At this point I left the table and hid in the bathroom for a few to regain my composure. After I returned to the table the agony just got worse. She asks me "Have you ever heard of (insert some name of birth control here)? I simply reply "No". Apparently she saw that as an opportunity to share a 20 minute story to my husband and I about this birth control stick that was implanted in her arm and how painful it was, and how long it lasts, and how it has to be removed, and the complications and (insert information that you never want to know about birth control especially from someone you don't know very well and even more especially while you are sitting next to your husband).

I left that dinner totally amazed at how STUPID people can be. If she were having dinner with a paraplegic would she tell a 30 minute story complaining about having to run a marathon? If she were having dinner with a diabetic would she tell a story about how she had a lunch full of nothing but candy and junk food...the answer. Probably. Because people don't think before they open their mouths.

People don't think about how what comes out of their mouths affects the people that are within hearing range.

I still haven't ovulated this month and to be honest, I feel defeated. I feel defeated and VERY frustrated. I'm gonna grab another beer now cause I'm not pregnant....and I can.


~*~Bodhi~*~ said...


I absolutely DESPISE anyone who uses the "just relax" line on me about pregnancy!!!!

I would have told her to keep her thoughts to herself...


Nikki said...

Wow - some people have absolutely no sensitivity, isn't it? Seriously, you were gracious enough to sit through the dinner. I would have said or done something to her!

Sorry you had to endure this! We just got back from dinner with some friends, and didn't see a pregnancy announcement coming (usually I have a 6th sense about these things). We were totally not prepared for their "We have some news" announcement!! They have a 18 month old son, and are 3 months pregnant right now.

Bec said...

GAH! Sounds like a shocker of an evening - this women needs to lear when to shut up already! Definitely missing the sensitivity chip...

Erin said...

You are a better person than I, for I definitely WOULD have torn off head, spit down throat.

What a bitch.

Sounds like her husband was mortified. Hope he screamed at her on that car ride home.

Chhandita said...

Some people really can be STUPID!!! lets go o0ut for a drink together..grrrrr

Dana said...

I can't believe this woman. She truely has no idea how to shut up..does she. I am sorry you had to experience that...I have so been there. So drink that beer and avoid them at all costs!! Sending you Love and Hugs!!!