Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I just need to vent...

Fair warning: this is probably the Clo.mid speaking, but here goes anyway.

I have been very open about our IF, treatments, miscarriage etc. (Some days I am thankful for that, some days I want to kick myself for that). Today is one of the days I want to kick myself. My co-worker, I will call her"J" came up to me this morning and said "Oh, I talked to my DIL last night, I thought they had decided to give up on the baby thing, but apparently her GYN put her on a high protein diet, lots of vitamins and told her it is only a matter of time, her Dr. said she may even have twins!"

For the record, I don't think her DIL has been trying for very long. They are getting married in the fall, she is 38 he is 41. They each have children from previous marriages.
J goes on to say that they don't have to go to a fertility Dr. because DIL ovulates and SIL "shoots thousands of sperm" All of this is fine and dandy...I am ok with this conversation, it is a little odd to be having this conversation in front of my entire office, but again, I chose to be open about this...so whatever.

Then she said something that makes my blood pressure sky rocket (even when I am not hopped up on Clo.mid) she said "Nichole you are lucky you are so young...you have plenty of time." My response to her was this "Well, I was young over 4 years ago when we first started trying too, but so far my age hasn't done anything for me. Every month that goes on, every year that we are still trying I am getting older and my chances are becoming smaller and smaller. Just because I am younger than your DIL, does not make this journey or conceiving any easier for me." I got up from my desk and went into the bathroom to gather my composure.

I hate it when people say that "Oh, your young yadda yadda yadda" I know that age may be on my side right now, but it seems that is the only thing on my side, which doesn't help.

Please keep your unsolicited assvice to yourself. Especially when I am hopped up on Clo.mid (for the record and J's defense, I haven't told anyone except my cyber friends and one IRL friend that I am on Clo.mid - I am done with being open right now) it can be a very dangerous place.

On a lighter note: My mom sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday. I should have known that she didn't forget me! I cried, and cried and cried. I love that woman. She has been an amazing support - I only wish she lived closer. I would love to crawl up on her lap and have her rock me in her chair right now! (ok - I realize I am to big for this and would probably crush my mom, but a girl can have dreams)


Amber said...

wow how rude of your co-worker. I think after a while TTC gets harder and harder and to those who seem to have it made on making a baby so easily it just doesnt seem fair sometimes. Clomid really can mess with you for sure.

Jess said...

AWE, I'm so glad your momma didn't forget you! LOL, I can picture you sitting on her lap and the chair breaking, sorry. I'm not saying your fat cause your not but two grown woman might break a rocking chair, lol!

I'm going to add "j" (thanks for using my inital) on the list of people that need to be slapped! Seriousely who says stuff like that? We were young 4 years ago (funny that we are the same age and trying for the same time). You are going to be 27...that is not a spring chicken, we were spring chickens at 22. If our age was going to matter, it would have happened when we were young! I'm sorry honey!

I love you Nichole!

Valerie said...

Just lurking... That comment is probably the most common. I hate when people say "Oh you're young you have plenty of time." It still doesn't make it any easier.

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

what a rude co-worker. i dont understand why ppl think they need to give their opinion when its obviously NOT welcome.

sending you a hug. =)

Hillary said...

I feel the exact same way!! I get that comment at times, too, and it does NOT make me feel better. Even DH's urologist said it. ((hugs))


Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier said...

Im sure your mom would just love to hold you and rock you for hours and hours and make all your pain and hurt go away, thats what moms are for.
So happy to hear abt the flowers thats so sweet.
On the other hand, your co-worker, wow.....talk abt foot in mouth how rude is that, i just dont understand how people dont think before they speak. At least you give people a heads up before you think you are going to be rude (NOT THAT YOU EVER ARE, YOU DONT HAVE A BAD BONE IN YOUR BODY).
Love you girl, hope your week continues on a up scale.

the misfit said...

I get that you were open, but I think she may be being a little TOO open, no?

Just Caz said...

Hmm unsolicited assvice is behond my comprehension.
The pain you've experienced over the years is not some how compensated by how young you are..
Seriously what an idiot.

I hope she learnt her lesson and does not say such stupid and hurtful things again.

Dana said...

I am sthe same way...sometimes I am glad I am open about IF and then other days I am totally kicking myself. Even yesterday I told a cousin that I was pg..and she said oh did y'all just stop trying and it happened. And I was like NO...we had our frozen cycle from our IVF. I just threw a bunch of jargon at her and then left her confused. It was oddly fun :D And I also could just curl up in my moms lap and be so happy. I don't think we will ever be too old for that!! Love you!

Bec said...

I HATE it when people play the "your so young" card! It doesn't matter what age you are if you are infertile! GRRRRR to J!

But how very sweet of your Mum to send you flowers :)