Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"The Talk"

It happened spontaneously, it was unexpected, much shorter and much less dramatic than I expected. :-)

We talked last night over pizza at Cost.co. We have determined that we are going to proceed with adoption. Going back to treatment may be an option for us someday, but right now we want to be parents, we don't necessarily want/need to be pregnant in order for that to happen.
Besides, we received this wonderful gift of a free home study, so we decided to use it!

I have been praying a lot and Sunday night I asked God to please direct me where He wants me to go. I told Him that I was torn and confused and I wasn't sure what He wanted us to do. I told Him that I was open to whatever He has in store for us, but that He would need to speak a little louder because I can be stubborn and don't listen well sometimes. He answered in the most clear way possible.

Pace has absolutely no desire to return to treatments at this point. He didn't even want to discuss it last night. At first I was a little hurt, I felt like he was closing that door and giving up on my body, but then I really listened and realized that he wants to be a dad as much as I want to be a mom. He knows that the most productive way for us to do that is to adopt. God closed Pace's heart to treatments for right now because He knew that I wouldn't push treatments if I knew Pace was not on board. (I think God knows my weak spot..LOL)

I am faithful that God will provide for this adoption financially as it is going to be difficult, but I feel His hand is leading us and He wouldn't be doing that if He wasn't going to go before us to make it happen.

So I called the agency that we won the home study from and we have our first home visit on January 22nd, 2010 at 6:00 pm. During this visit we will get all of our paperwork, information packets etc.

I need to crack down and do some real training for my dog before the case worker comes. I will be absolutely humiliated if he jumps on her! (He is such a lovable dog, he just gets REALLY excited when new people come through the door) Eeeek!

I am very excited to be moving in the right direction to become a mommy again!

16 comments:

Jill said...

This is really exciting! It is so great that you and your husband can talk about these things and agree/compromise on a solution you are both comfortable with. That is just the type of loving family/home that your soon-to-be child will be lucky to have. :) And you're right, the treatments are always a future option. Good luck!!

Michelle said...

So exciting! The best conversations usually happen in the strangest/unplanned places.
For future reference, when do you have to pay the agency? Do you have to pay before the first home visit/paperwork?

So happy for you and your new path!

Emily said...

That must be an amazing feeling to know what God is telling you. I like what you said about listening harder and being stubborn. I think I am the same way. Let me know how your home study goes. DH and I are talking about adoption as well.

Nichole said...

Thanks ladies! Michelle - since the home study is free, we don't have to pay anything until we decide to go with either an attorney or an agency.

If we go through an agency, there will be adoption classes that will need to be paid for as well as some sort of payment to get on the waiting list. (Depends on which agency we choose)

Elana Kahn said...

Yay! Congrats on the big decision.

Baby Wanted said...

YAY! YAY! YAY! I'm so happy for you guys...what agency are you going with (you can text me that if you want)! Sounds like Pace just wants to be a dad...I don't blame him. I was just like him two months ago and G was like you. I knew in my heart, I was done with treatments. I didn't want to go back to the doctors, I just wanted to be a mom and adoption will give us that. Anyways, January 22nd is a great day...it is my daddy's birthday (he legally changed his bday to make the day he came to the U.S. his bday)!

Lucky boy is a lover...she will see that!

Nikki said...

Wow - how nice to have a clear path ahead, and to know that God is speaking to you and answering your questions.

Good luck to you in this new journey! Will be thinking of you on the 22nd.

And I'm not sure where I missed that update, but YAY on the free home study!

Hillary said...

So happy for you! It sounds like you and Pace are on the same page and moving FORWARD! I can't wait to "meet" the baby God has planned for you :)

makingmemom.blogspot.com

thegalwho said...

I'm so glad you've come to a decision and now have a direction to head in....may that direction bring you all desire and hope it does.

xxx

Misty said...

I'm so happy that you have a clear idea of what the Lord wants you to do now! And you will be amazed how the idea of never giving birth has less of a sting to it. I still hope one day I can give birth but for right now I'm so excited for this path that he has us on. I'm very excited for you!!!

Clare said...

Bravo on making that decision. I think it's amazing and I wish you all the best down this road. I do believe that only really special people with lots of love to give can adopt and that's probably why you feel God is guiding you down this path. I wish you the best for your first home visit, can't wait to hear more...

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

Congrats! So exciting!!!!

the misfit said...

I'm so glad to hear that you guys are both on the same page and moving forward with a decision you're excited about. And what could be a better way to start than a free homestudy?

Bec said...

Im so excited that you have decided to take this path. Im actually about to head to our final adoption seminar before we begin the assessment process, so we will be on the same path :)

♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

That is awesome that you guys finally had THE TALK, P. is a amazing man and he is going to make a great father as you are mother. Gabe & I as well had a pretty big talk (not abt the same thing) the other day while shopping the other day at the commissary. It amazing when you least excpect it, it happens. I so excited for you both and cant wait till the process is done and you have you baby in your arms at home. PLease let me know if you have or when you are going to have you adoption fund set up so people can donate to it :) love you girl.

Courtney said...

I'm so glad to hear the talk went so well & you both have found peace with your decision.

I'm UBER excited for you to post on your adventure in adoption...starting with the home visit! I plan on learning about the process through you in case we go in that direction in the future.

((hugs))