I am definitely going to make this an annual thing for me. It was so wonderful being around people that are in similar situations or feel the same way that I do in real life. This Saturday the Catholic Church that I used to attend is holding a special mass for those who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Even though I no longer consider myself "Catholic" I think it will be nice to be in a church and have my loss acknowledged. It seems that my church totally revolves around babies, pregnancy and children and sometimes it is just too much to take.
Then Saturday evening Pace and I met up with my friend J and her husband G. They have 3 angels in heaven as well, and did a candle lighting ceremony with us last Wednesday. We have a farm out here in AZ that has fresh produce, a corn maize, petting zoo, and carnival rides right now for a fall festival. HORRIBLE IDEA TO GO!!!! I think 70 percent of the women there were pregnant and EVERYONE had kids. I didn't realize the entire event was geared towards kids...but it was. And we had to pay $12 to get in, so I wasn't just going to leave...I was going to get some enjoyment out of it. We had Pace's little sister with us (she's 3) so that was helpful...kind of. At least we looked like we belonged there because we had here with us.
The holidays suck. I usually love Halloween! It is one of my favorite holidays, not anymore. I told Pace the other night that I am not sure if I will be able to hang out and hand out candy. I just want to be around adults...with no kids. No cute little costumes, no 16 year old girls trick or treating with their babies...I just don't want to do it this year.
I am still waiting on ovulation. I don't know what is going on...I have gotten like 4 or 5 tests with faint second lines, but no "positives" Today is CD22 so I am not sure what to think. I will keep testing for another week. My body definitely does not seem to be as cooperative this cycle. GRrrrrr