I just feel so alone right now.
I still have no idea what the heck is going on with my cycle this month. Thankfully by this time next week I will either have a BFP or AF so I can stop worrying and analyzing my body every 10 seconds. I am on prom.etrium right now, so that gives me all of the "symptoms" with no real "result" So...it sucks.
My company laid off 2 people today...3 more to come tomorrow. I am just devastated. I work for a VERY small company...there are 15 people on payroll including myself and 2 owners, so cutting 5 employees is a HUGE deal. These people are my family. I have worked for this company for almost 8 years and these people are more than just co-workers. They went to my wedding, my college graduation, they sent flowers when I had my miscarriage, they know my family, they know some of my friends. These people are family to me and the thought of not seeing them when I go into the office in the morning makes me so sad. Some of them have families...how are they going to find another job in this economy? The owners could have reduced costs elsewhere, but there first cut was employees. They didn't reduce advertising or vehicle costs...they didn't cut hours or put a freeze on spending and raises...no...the very first cut they made in our budget was 5 employees. I am so sad and feel like I am losing such a huge support system. I am thankful that I still have a job...but it won't be the same. Ever since the company went under new ownership last year, it hasn't been the same. I have worked so hard for the last 7 years to help build this company to watch the new owners tear it down in a year. It sucks.
Then Pace and I got into an argument today. Things have been rough at his work as well for the last couple of months and there has been some family stuff going on as well, so we have both been under a lot of pressure. Today, it just all fell apart and I sit here now in an empty house knowing that my husband, my best friend is mad at me, and doesn't even want to be here with me. Not that I can blame him...I have been pretty difficult lately. I know that some of it is stress and most of it is hormones, but that isn't an excuse...
I am tired of feeling like this...just one more week and then no more hormones...no more pills. I just want to feel like me again.