After I left the Dr. office from my last ultrasound, something inside of me changed. I have given up hope. I am not going to allow myself to have false hope anymore.
We are researching adoption. This is a huge step for us and we are going to take it VERY slowly. At this point we are not completely giving up hope of having biological children, but we are definitely not putting all of our eggs (pun intended) in that basket. We will see what the RE has to say on the 18th and go from there.
I don't feel IVF is for us, at least not at this point. If I am going to spend that kind of money, I would rather spend it on adoption. This is just OUR perspective. Maybe someday if we live in a state with insurance coverage or we win the lottery or something, we would do IVF, but just not right now.
We have our first adoption orientation meeting on June 23rd and plan on attending many more. We are scared, a bit sad and definitely overwhelmed, but we are coming to terms with the cards we were dealt. I am not sure I can handle another "surprise" surgery, another miscarriage, another failed cycle, emotionally I just don't think I can bear it. We have been trying for almost four and a half years and we are no closer today to having a biological child than we were four and a half years ago. We are ok with waiting another two or three years as we go through the adoption process, but I am not sure we could wait another two or three years of fertility treatment.
Again, we are going to wait and see what the RE says before we completely give up on fertility treatments, but for the time being, our focus is going to be on getting my body healthy again and pursuing adoption.