Wow - I feel like I am stuck in a whirl wind right now. So many things are happening, so many new things, new ideas and new people in our life!
Pace and I attended our first adoption support group meeting on Monday and instantly fell in love. It was such an uplifting group. We walked out of there with more excitement and hope than we have had in almost a year. We are ready to move forward - genetic similarities no longer matter. We just want to be parents.
We are attending two orientation meetings with local agencies next week. I will call one "CC" and the other "CFC". I spoke to a woman from CFC last week briefly on the phone and told her I would be in contact with her after we attended the orientation. Her name sounded really familiar, but I just brushed it off. Her name came up in the adoption support group meeting as well and again I was struck with how familiar her name sounded. Yesterday it dawned on me. I logged onto my Face.book acct. and there she was. A girl that my sister went to high school with that lives in the Phx valley now. We have been friends on Face.book for a while, but I had no idea she worked at CFC because I know her by her maiden name...not her married name. I immediately shot her an email and we both laughed at how small the world really is. We both grew up in KS, so the fact that we are both here, that we are looking to adopt and she works for one of the adoption agencies we are considering...VERY small world. Not only does she work for CFC...she is the supervisor of the adoption department! Ha!!!
I had a very dear online friend (and fellow blogger) email me yesterday and offered up an option to me that I had never considered. Embryo Adoption. I just assumed that EA would be WAY more expensive than IVF or traditional adoption which meant that it was out of the question for us. However after doing some research, it appears that isn't the case. I talked to Pace about it last night and we are both on the fence. Although I would love the opportunity to be pregnant, I am terrified of it not working or miscarrying again. We just want to be parents. So...we are going to talk to our RE about it tomorrow when I go see him. I just want to know his opinion on how he feels my body will react to a pregnancy. I think I know what he is going to say, but I am going to wait and see.
It really seems that now that we have let go of the "genetic relation" part of starting our family, the options are really endless. This has put a whole new wind in our sails and new hope in our heart.
For right now we are going to continue to do our research and start the home study process. We are meeting with the pastor that married Pace and I on Thursday as he and his wife are infertile and adopted two little girls a little over a year ago. They are going to share their story and just be an additional support system for us as we transition into this new path to parenthood.
Thankfully my family seems to be very excited and "on board" with the whole adoption thing. Even the EA. I was a little concerned since the majority of my family is Cath.olic, but they were very excited and amazed that EA was even an option medically. My mom immediately started doing research on EA, she found a video on it and is sending it to me. I know that my family just wants us to be parents, but I know my mom really wants me to be able to experience pregnancy too. So we will see which path the Lord walks us down.
Just wanted to keep you all updated!
2 comments:
I'm glad meetings went well. Maybe knowing that girl will help you out a little ;)
I thought about EA... I think it's a great idea and you get to be pregnant, it seems like a win-win. But, I also worry, because most of the embryos are coming from families with bad fertility histories in the first place, I hate to pass that on to my child in any case, but coming from my own genetics, it doesn't bother me the same way. Plus, if you don't know the fertility issue, it would be harder to prepare your child for the problems they might face (I think this is particularly true for male factor since that is almost always genetic).
I also worry about the likelihood of not getting top quality embryos in the first place and having to experience that loss... theroetically, the donors already used the best embryos, would the chances be less with the left overs and could I handle that? Also, one group I was looking at said something about only getting 4 chances (and I don't know exactly what that means). But if you've got a bad set of embryos that would have a chance in ANYONE's uterus, and use up your 4 chances, can you work with a new donor and get more chances? Not sure, but it raised a flag to me.
EA is definitely something worth looking into, but it has a very unique set of challenges that have to be weighed.
I am so glad to hear you have a hope again...and whether it's EA or adoption, you are in my prayers that it all works out for the best.
It's good to also hear how supportive your family is of you and Pace. That's a very important thing to have in order to survive.
Take care, be good to yourself, and keep on dreaming:-)
(((hus)))
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