Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Darn Infertility

Thank you all for your input on the questions of my last blog. I have done a lot of thinking over the last week and I think it is time for me to sort some things out.

I have a history of depression, but the last time I was medicated for it was 9 years ago. I think it is time again. I just need something to help me take the edge off and get my positive thinking back. I am tired of being sad and gloomy, I want to be my fun, crazy self again. (ok - I am still crazy, but not in the fun, happy sort of way, more like the manic, psychotic sort of way now) LOL

I am going to talk to my brother (our financial advisor and banker) about setting up a separate savings account for adoption. I know that we are not prepared to take that step "yet", but when we are prepared, I would like to have the money in place to do so. I can't stomach the thought of being emotionally and psychologically ready to move forward and then having to wait another 6 months to save up money. I am also thinking of getting a part time job (something I can do on the weekends or a couple evenings a week) to get a jump start to my adoption fund.

I am going to my first professionally-led infertility support group through RES.OLVE tonight. I am a regular member of the pee-led one, but think it is time to "step up the game" and I just want to see what a professional has to say. I will definitely update you all on how this goes.

I am feeling a lot of anger, a lot of bitterness and sadness still. I didn't go to my friends baby shower last weekend. I just couldn't do it (plus we had Pace's little sister all weekend). I am just not in a good place right now.

I have a question for you all on adoption. Whether you have gone through the home-study process or not, you can either give your opinion or your experience.

I was wondering what/if any repercussions I could expect if I am on anti.depressants while going through the adoption process. Obviously, if going on anti.depressants is going to hinder our ability to adopt in anyway, I will not do it. Do you all have any insight on this? By the way - I know it may disqualify us from international adoption (especially China) but we are looking at doing domestic infant adoption.

Thank you all! I hope you all are doing well


Angelwingsbaby said...

HI hun I am so sorry that you are struggling so much.I am more than willing to talk to you about adoption and your other question but would rather do it on the phone or through email for privacy reasons.Hang in there hun.((HUGS))

Mandy Jo said...

Hey Girl! and you took the words right our of my mouth "darn infertility! You need to focus on yourself getting a part time job might help you out too! I know when we did our homestudy we had to submit alist of meds we were both on but I have no idea about it hurting or helping you. It shouldn't but I honestly have no idea!

Anna said...

Hey girl. I would be interested in hearing what you find out about the antidepressants in the adoption process. I have been on them since last spring, and I have wondered that too. Also, I changed my blog URL, so I wanted to let you know in case you read. Now it's

the misfit said...

I'm really interested to hear how that support group goes. I know there's Resolve in my area ('cause they had a poster on the metrobus - it was really strange actually, promoting embryo adoption which is sort of unusual, but the way it was advertised was sort of...odd), but I haven't looked them up. But professionally-led support group sounds sort of intriguing. I might benefit from being told what to do a little more :).

Obviously I'm in a similar place with regard to pursuing treatment and trying to get my life back. IF itself is hard enough. To not be at full strength and have to carry that cross is just too much. Best of luck finding good treatment (and avoiding problems with the adoption process!).

Hillary said...

It sounds like you have a great plan in place, although I know that it is still not "easy." It's terribly hard, but I hope the new steps you're taking will be some help... ((hugs))

Jess said...

Hey love, I hope you enjoyed the meeting. I wish I could have seen you but I understand! :)

I don't know the answer to this question but isn't it a given that we are all depressed, lol? I mean come on, do they really expect us to be happy that we can't have kids?

Love you!