Bitter: As everyone that lives in the US know today is tax day. Usually I am ok with tax day (I usually get money back) however due to a little mess up with our payroll service (and me not catching it) we are not getting money back...we are paying...a lot. So, I was not very keen on waking up this morning to know that a large chunk of money (which had been set aside for our adoption) was being sent to both the State of Arizona and the Federal Govt. *sigh*
Sweet: Today is my wonderful father's birthday. He is such an amazing man, a man of few words, but a man that is devoted to his family no matter what. He worked his butt off to provide for all six of his children and never uttered a complaint. I love him dearly and wish I could be with him today to bake him his favorite cake for his birthday!
Bitter: Today is the 1 year anniversary of my due date for our first Angel Baby. Today I should be honoring and getting giddy over our little one's first birthday. But I'm not. Today I woke up feeling a little sad, a little lonely and very forgotten. No one except for me knows what today is. No one in our family thinks twice about what today means for me. Why would I expect them to? They never "saw" our Angel Baby, after the miscarriage, they never really acknowledged his/her existence.
Some days when I think of our miscarriages, I yearn to know the sex of our Angel Babies. Because at least then we could give them names and make them more "real" to our friends and family. At least then there might be some acknowledgement, some memory.
Yes...today is a very bitter sweet day