Wednesday, April 14, 2010

From The Lushary

The most recent statistics from Resolve state that 1 in 7 (or 8) couples struggle with infertility. Well...I would like an answer to this: My mother is the youngest of six children, my father is the youngest of six children and I am the youngest of six children. I am the only infertile of the bunch. How is that for odds...

I am preparing myself for our trip back home to KS in June for harvest. My siblings and I all return to our childhood home for some good home cooking and some hard work. I used to look forward to this time each year, but now I find myself calculating how many nieces and nephews I will be surrounded by The count this year: 13 (two of them won't be there) That's right...13 nieces and nephews from the ages of 21 all the way down to 1. Just typing that takes my breath away and makes my hands go a little numb.

The fact is, I love my family. We have always been close and I love seeing them all. However, as they have more children and I have more miscarriages, I find that I have less and less in common with them. When we all gather together, they talk about their kids, what they are learning in school, what college they are going to, what sports they are playing, how many words they are saying and what is the newest solid food they ingest...I have nothing to contribute to any of those conversations. It sucks. I feel like an outsider with nothing to contribute.

I am sure they feel a little uncomfortable with me as well. None of them have ever mentioned it, but I am sure the discomfort is there.

This is my blog in response to Stirrup Queen's new game and part of the Virtual Lushary!

1 comment:

Kakunaa said...

My DH and I are both the only 2 infertile out of 2 VERY fertile families....I totally get where you are coming from. (((HUGS))) Glad to meet you via the Lushary.