I did it! I made it through all of my counseling appointments without a breakdown! Woot Woot!
Either I am really handling all of this IF crap much better in recent days or I am becoming numb to the hurt, pain and frustration and just blocking it all out.
My guess would be the latter.
Have any of you watched "The Secret"? This quite phenomenal movie really has me perplexed. When I first watched the movie, I thought...can it really be this easy? You control your universe just by your thoughts? How can that be? Sounds pretty hokey and way too good to be true to me.
I tried it. It is harder than hell. All my life I was taught not to lie. Not to lie to others and not to lie to myself. Well..."The Secret" in life is that you HAVE to lie to yourself. Give thanks for all the things you want, but don't yet have and act like you already have them. Hmmmm OK.
So this morning after getting my daily injection of FSH, I looked up and thanked the universe for this baby in my belly. I thanked the universe for making this IUI work and for giving me this chance to be a mother and for this pregnancy.
Then I felt like an idiot. Because my current status is not pregnant, but here I am thanking the universe for my pregnancy so that I can "put my order in with the universe" and actually "draw" a pregnancy to me. Basically, lie to myself.
Another trick to "The Secret" is that you have to think positive thoughts. For example, you can't "will" yourself out of debt by saying " I want to get out of debt." You have to say "Thank you so much for giving me a surplus of money." (See the difference?) Same thing with losing weight. You can't "will" yourself down to your ideal weight by saying "I want to lose weight." You have to say "Wow, I am so happy now that I am at my ideal weight. I give thanks for being at my ideal weight and for being able to eat anything I want without gaining weight."
I have decided to give it the old college try. After all, it can't hurt and having a more positive attitude right? Either way, whether "The Secret" works or not, a good attitude is worth something and I have the tendency to fall into a "negative" zone. (I know you have already noticed that)
If you haven't read the book or watched the movie, I suggest doing so. I don't know if it really works or not, but there is something there that I can't quite explain that just makes sense to me. I am a little confused as to how this all fits in with my personal Christian beliefs. Is "placing an order with the universe" meant to replacing praying? Or is it pretty much one in the same, or simply a supplement to praying?
Very complex this stuff is...with the universe involved and all...I would love to hear your feedback and your opinions on the subject if you are so inclined.