Monday, April 09, 2007

My new addiction disorder


It is still growing. At our ultrasound on Saturday, our lonely little follie had grown 4mm. So, they had me do one last Follistim shot on Saturday. I will do the trigger shot tonight and the IUI will be Wednesday! FINALLY!

It seems like it has taken forever to get to this point. I guess it kind of has....2 years 1 month and 2 weeks.... It truly is unbelievable how many things have changed since we first started TTC (Trying To Conceive)

My range of emotions lately are astronomical. They range anywhere from elated, frightened, angry, anxious, sad, and ecstatic. The sky really is the limit. I am so tired emotionally, physically and spiritually... just tired. I have tried so hard to not get my hopes up for this first IUI to work, but I have failed. My expectations are very high and only seem to get higher by the day.

I feel like we have overcome so much this cycle. I am actually producing a follicle! I haven't done that in God only knows how long.

I find it amazing how much fertile women take for granted something their body does every month without fail. I am completely awestruck with the fact that I have a little egg in my body waiting to be fertilized and become my son/daughter. It is not even fertilized yet, but I already feel this strange attachment to it. I know...I AM insane! I already feel like this is the beginning of my child. My child with My husband! Just the thought of that makes me want to throw up from nervousness. I am beyond bewildered and terrified right now. I have no idea how I am going to make it through the dreaded 2WW (2 Week Wait).

Knowing me, I will be POAS (peeing on a stick) every day until I eventually run out of tests or I finally get that BFP. "Hi My name is Nichole and I am a POASaholic" All respond " Hi Nichole."


Trish said...

My first IUI was nerve wracking. I wish I had been blogging then so you could see what a wreck I was. Congrats on the follicle.. fertile thoughts & prayers to you!

LJ said...

Hi Nichole!

As a POASaholic myself, I recommend getting, believe it or not, the tests from the Dollar Store. From, you'll see that they're pretty early/accurate and certainly less expensive. It'll keep your addiction from breaking the bank.

Anonymous said...

That is great news! I hope the IUI does it's job and this is your month. I'll be thinking about you.