Thursday, April 30, 2009

I am laying it out there...

First of all, I wanted to update you all and tell you that I had "the" talk about my sister trip with my mom the other night. It was AMAZING and for the first time, I really opened up to her about the emotional side of all of this crap. She was so much more understanding and compassionate than I ever could have asked for. It was such a great conversation and I realized how much I have allowed myself to suffer in silence, when I should have been calling my mom and crying on her shoulder begging for words of encouragement.

Then...I had the first conversation with one of my sisters about the infamous "sister trip" I told her I wouldn't be making it for the sister trip this year. I told her we would be knee deep in fertility treatments and I really needed to focus on that. I also told her that it would be very difficult for me to be around her new baby as well as my other sisters new baby (5 weeks and 10 weeks old respectively). I told her that I was still just too raw. There was a pause on the other end and then she said "I totally understand, I am so sorry, I didn't even think about that."
Enter sigh of relief here
I need to talk to my other two sisters, but for now, I think they won't be bothering me about the sister trip anymore.

There has been something that has been plaguing my mind the last week or two and I am just going to lay it out there and hope that everyone that reads it understands and doesn't take this the wrong way:

Is it just me or are a much higher rate of my fellow infertile bloggers getting pregnant?

It seems like every day there is a new pregnancy announcement on my blog roll which is WONDERFUL! That is absolutely amazing - and Bec - I hope to see yours tomorrow.

I just want a piece of that pie too - whatever all my blogsters are doing out there it seems to be working. Pass some of it over here ok? I'm not sure I can stomach another holiday season without a baby in my belly.

11 comments:

Amanda said...

Glad to hear the family members are being understanding. Maybe they will be more considerate in the future (or you will have a baby by then and it won't be an issue).

I will fully admit to thinking the same thing as you. I even wrote a post about it, and deleted it, cause I was worried it would be taken the wrong way too. I'm happy for them, but it doesn't seem to make me really feel any better. I figure I'm allowed my moments.

Angelwingsbaby said...

Yes I do agree that there has been a spike in us IF girls getting PG.I felt the same way as you before I got my news.It seemed like everyone I was following was pg and I also was very convinced that I was not going to be one of them.I am sorry that I do not have the words to comfort you but please know that IF has not left me as I am happy to be pg but terrified to have another miscarriage.It has made it very hard for me to celebrate the way someone would.I also have felt weird to change to posting pg related things on my blog as opposed to IF stuff it is very awkward.I actually just wrote an email to a another blogger sharing this and how it can be difficult to know where I fit in as I love all you girls dearly and want everyone to get their BFP too.Please know that I am still here for you because I will never be a "fertile" only an infertile that had a lot of help.((hugs)) If you ever want to talk privately my email is on my blog.

The Pifer's said...

If you get a piece of that pie can you send some to me :):)

Praying for you sweetie!

Teri said...

I hear you, girl - I totally hear you! And I am SO glad that you opened up. Isn't it amazing how freeing it is??

babydust81 said...

Hey there nichole...

Glad you had teh talk with the mum and sister. SOmetimes, we will be amazed at how they will react. Family being family, they will react unexpectedly sometimes. Most times in a good way.

As for your remarks, I seem to agree with you. Everytime I check my site, there seems to be someone with a pregnancy announcement. Not that I am upset or anything. But I admit, it can be disheartening sometimes and the green monster sure do come out. I am happy for them but...

Well take care of yourself dear.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm so glad to hear about the good talk with the fam. That's great that a) you can be open, and b) that they were understanding.

With the bloggers getting pregnant, I feel that's the way it is... if you're getting treatments, some are bound to work. But there are people who've been here a LONG time still getting BFNs. It's hard, because you never know. It is wonderful news and I hear you on the wanting to be a part of it too. Waiting sucks.

Still praying for you!!
~~HUGS~~

Bec said...

I am so glad the talk went well hon, it really did need to happen.

I have felt the exact same thing in the past, and it feels so strange to be on the other side of it all. Don't feel bad for putting it out there, we totally get it. Am totally sending you over some of that pie!

Hillary said...

It sounds like the talks with your family members went really well -- what a blessing!! I hope they can be a source of support to you!

makingmemom.blogspot.com

Jess said...

I'm proud of you sweetie! I hope you can find comfort in your mom and reach out to her when you need some loving! I'm glad your sisters understand...they do love you a lot! :)

I feel the same way...must be something in blogwater...everyone is preggo but us! :(

Hugs!!!

Jess said...

Thanks for being there for me this week...it was nice being able to text you with my thoughts, concerns and whatever else ran through my mind.

Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier said...

Im so glad the talk went well with your mom & that your sister is being understanding on how you feel about going, I hope they all understand and feel the same way.