**Edited because my previous post was hurtful and frankly pretty jerky - here is what it should have said.
Tuesday afternoon I found out that my ex-SIL is pregnant. I was DEVASTATED! I was angry, sad, bitter and pissed!
I found out she was pregnant via My.space. She had just taken 2 HPT and posted that she was pg w/ #2 with pictures of the HPT's. Although it would have been nice to hear directly from her that she was pregnant before I was blasted with it on My.space, I also understand her excitement. She is very excited about being pregnant and her My.space is covered in stuff baby and pregnancy related. Totally fine for her - very hurtful to me.
Well, last night was our RE.SOLVE support group meeting and I came to the realization that I really need to be more straightforward to my friends and family about my feelings and emotions. The only people that truly know the emotions of my infertility battle are all of you, one of my co-workers and my husband. After 4 years, I think it is time to break the silence and put my feelings first for once.
So I deleted her. It was my first step in saying "I COME FIRST" from now on. I will no longer put my feelings on the backboard and be a doormat. I will not listen to my pregnant friend CONSTANTLY talk about how sick she feels and how she had no idea how they are going to afford to have this baby. I will be supportive, but she needs to be sensitive to the fact that I would give ANYTHING to feel that crappy.
I sent my SIL a message explaining that I am happy for her and wish her nothing but a wonderful, healthy 9 month pregnancy, but that I had to delete her because it was too hard for me to constantly see pg pictures, posts etc. I am not sure she will understand, she probably won't, but that is ok. I COME FIRST.
Now if I can just figure out how to tell my three sisters that I will not be making it to the sister's trip in June. That is going to be a tough one. (Just so you know, it is not just a trip for the sisters, it is a trip with sister 1, her teenage daughter, sister 2, her 7 year old, 5 year old and 2 month old, sister 3, her 6 year old, her 4 year old, and her one month old...see WHY I can't make the trip now...sigh)
**update: I just got a text back from my ex-SIL It said "I'm sorry nichole:( and I do totally understand. I feel really bad"
Looks like honesty really is the best policy in this case. Thank you God!